


Don’t Remember It Don’t Return to It

by Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You



Series: the power of dadschlatt compels you: how the PaP came to be [3]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drowning, F/M, Flashbacks, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Minor Character Death, Murder, Nightmares, Repressed Memories, Sad Wilbur Soot, Unhealthy Relationships, Wilbur Soot is Floris | Fundy's Parent, hypnotherapy, second degree murder specifically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 16:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30007734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You/pseuds/Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You
Summary: Wilbur has a nightmare.It leads to opening a can of worms that he probably shouldn’t have opened.
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Wilbur Soot, Eret & Wilbur Soot, Floris | Fundy & Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot & Jschlatt, Wilbur Soot/Sally
Series: the power of dadschlatt compels you: how the PaP came to be [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2205399
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40





	Don’t Remember It Don’t Return to It

**Author's Note:**

> Angst without a happy ending.
> 
> Please read the tags.
> 
> For those who HAVE context, this takes place maybe a few more weeks, potentially a month after the Techno confrontation and everything thereafter which was totally not angst no definitely not. Ranboo and Puffy have also joined by this time.
> 
> I’d also like to apologize if my depiction of hypnosis is inaccurate, my defense is that they did it in Wildwood /hj
> 
> Anyway, enjoy.

_He didn’t mean to._

_He- it was an accident._

_But he had been so_ angry _._

_He hadn’t cared in the moment._

_And now…_

_Ruby red hair mixing with blood, dashed against stones, her body limp and unmoving as she lies face down in the water. He didn’t- he couldn’t have-_

_But she’s there, in front of him, oh gods, Fundy-_

_He turns to look for his son, to ensure that he would never see it, but instead, he comes face-to-face with him, standing eye-to-eye._

_“You did this, Wil. You killed Mom. You’re just too much of a coward to remember.”_

_Wilbur can’t help but look back down at the corpse, and watched as his lover’s body shakily propped itself up, and dead eyes shot up to look at him._

_He couldn’t tear his gaze away. He couldn’t do anything as she stared at him, her eyes empty of any life or emotion, her mouth hanging open in a permanent scream, mouth dripping with water from the river._

_“You...did...this,” she rasped. “You...monster.”_

_He wants to plead with her, tell her he didn’t, but instead he only stares as her face falls back into the river, endless blood flowing down the stream._

_Fundy puts a hand on his shoulder. “Now, you join her.”_

_Suddenly he’s underwater. He can’t see. He can’t breathe. He can’t he can’t he can’t he can’t he-_

\--

-jolts awake in his bed.

His bed. In the White House. He’s safe. He’s fine.

Wilbur holds a white-knuckled grip on the sheets. That wasn’t...that couldn’t have been real. He _knows_ what happened to Sally, he watched her leave, so why-

Why did he have that dream?

This seems like something to investigate.

—

_“Where’d Mom go, Dad?”_

_“She went someplace very special. You wanna know a secret about your mom?”_

_“What! What secret?”_

_“Your mom was a salmon, Fundy. She couldn’t stay forever, she had to swim back downstream! She stayed with us for as long as she could, don’t worry!”_

—

“What do you think caused this nightmare?”

Wilbur sits with his legs crossed on the couch. Puffy sits across from him, notebook in hand.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I...I watched Sally leave us. I watched her walk away. I don’t remember much of that day, I guess, but I don’t really know why? Probably just because it’s been a few years.”

Puffy frowns. “From what you told me, there’s definitely a possibility that your mind is filling in the gaps with something that didn’t actually happen, but you have to understand that there’s also a possibility-”

“No,” Wilbur interrupts. “There’s no way. I-I loved her, even if she...tried to take- tried to get Fundy away from me. We fought, and she...she stormed out. That was the last time I saw her.”  
  


Puffy makes a note on her sheet and sighs. “Wilbur, I think you’re repressing something. Something big. While it might not be as drastic as the murder of your partner, it’s definitely something. But still, if we’re going to go through with this, we have to consider all possibilities.”

“I know, I know. I could’ve killed her.” Though he says it casually, the words burn his tongue. He couldn’t have done that, right? Though with some of the other things he’s done, murder isn’t out of the question-

No, no more following that train of thought.

Puffy gives him a look, but says nothing.

—

_“Dad, what happened to Mom?”_

_“Your mom left us because she thought I would hurt you.”_

_“But you don’t hurt me!”_

_“Exactly, my little champion. She was wrong, and she left because she thought she was right.”_

_“You won’t leave me, will you Dad?”_

_“No, I won’t. Never.”_

_“Not even for Uncle Tommy?”_

_“Not even for him. I love you so much, Fundy.”_

_“I love you too, Dad.”_

—

“We should probably have you run through the events of the day first, just to be clear on what you remember.”

“Sounds good.”

Wilbur leans forward and props his head up on his knees.

Puffy turns a page in her notebook. “Start at the beginning, please.”

He swallows. “The day went pretty normally, until around dinnertime. Sally said she wanted to talk, so I obliged her. We started to fight, and she said...that she didn’t want Fundy to be around me anymore, and that she was leaving and taking Fundy with her.”

He pauses, and Puffy nods. “Take your time, Wil.”

“I, obviously, got mad when she told me that. She tried to run, and I tried to keep her there, and then-”

_ “Stop it Wil, see, this is what I’m talking about-!” _

“She ran out the door. And that’s all I remember.”

—

_ “Wh- Dad what’s wrong?” _

_ “I’mma let you in on a little secret, Fundy. Your mum was a bitch.” _

_ “What does that mean? Dad?” _

_ “It means she ran out on us. She thought I was gonna hurt you, but I’d never hurt you, my champion.” _

_ “O-okay Dad.” _

  
—

Puffy sighs as she sits across from him, and Wilbur eyes Schlatt next to him warily.

“Are you sure this’ll help?” he asks, secretly hoping the answer is no.

“Probably,” Schlatt says. “I mean, I’ve used it pretty exclusively to try and get money out of people but I’m pretty sure this’ll work.”

That does _not_ make Wilbur feel better.

Puffy pinches the bridge of her nose. “Can we just get on with it, please?”

Wilbur leans back on the couch into a more comfortable position, and Schlatt positions himself in front of him. 

With deep breaths all around, they begin.

As Schlatt talks, Wilbur feels himself falling deeper and deeper into a trance, feeling the marked sensation of comfort around him, a bit like he’s floating.

“Can you hear me?” Puffy’s voice rings out around him.

He nods, and says “Yeah, I can.”

“Let’s begin then. Think back to that day, the day Sally left.”

The house forms around him, and Sally and Fundy appear in the living room. Wilbur goes through the motions of preparing them a meal, and then things start to change.

“Sally asks me how I’ve been feeling lately. She says we have to talk. I try to ignore her, but she refuses to let me. She corners me in the kitchen after the meal and tells me that she plans to leave.”

In the vision, Sally stands over him, but in reality she was nearly a foot shorter than him. He just always found her intimidating, especially in that moment.

“I tell her that I don’t know why she would want to leave, and she scoffs and tells me to get my head out of my ass. She says that she’s going, and taking Fundy with her.”

His voice gets choked slightly, against his will.

“I snap and tell her she won’t be taking Fundy anywhere. Fundy is my son. Sally shakes her head and says that Fundy is her son too. Or maybe yells. It’s fuzzy.”

“Take you time,” Puffy says.

“I tell her that I refuse to let her take him. I think I grab her arm. She wrenches free and screams at me. I see Fundy in the corner of my eye, watching us from the staircase.”

His voice shakes, but he still finds that comfort and relaxation around him. It’s a strange disconnect. Not unpleasant, but strange.

“She scowls at me and runs out the door. I-“

Here he pauses.

“I chase after her.”

—

_“Wil, what happened to Sally.”_

_“You really wanna know so bad? She left us, because she thought I was ‘dangerous’ and would eventually snap and kill her and you. At the time I thought she was crazy but now I think she might have been right...”_

_“Wh-what do you mean?”_

_“I might have hurt you, Fundy. I used the bad guy here, you know? I might’ve been the bad guy from the beginning. So who knows? I might have been capable of hurting you.”_

_“You’ve already hurt me plenty,_ Wilbur _.”_

_—_

“I follow her down to the river by our house.”

She stands near it, before sitting down a moment later.

“Her back is to me.”

She turns to face him as he comes down, quickly standing back up and jumping over to the other side of the river, scowling at him.

“She eventually faces me, and we start to fight. Physically.”

Sally tries to hit him, he tries to grab her. They are a tussle of limbs and movement until-

“She slips on a rock and falls. I don’t catch her.”

He swallows.

“She cuts her head open and tries to get up, pushing her face up out of the water, and I have a horrible thought.”

He stands there for a moment, staring down at her. 

He puts his hands on top of her head.

“I push her back down into the water, and I hold her there until she stops breathing.”

He thinks he hears a muted “fuck” from Schlatt.

She thrashes, and writhes, but Wilbur feels nothing. Nothing but the pressure and the comfort and the strange, detached sensation.

“I panic once I realize what I’ve done. I look around for Fundy, and I see him standing a ways off. I turn back to look at the body.”

She looks strangely beautiful, like a painting, lying in the river. Her blood mixes with the water. 

“Fundy is not far off, so I...move her body, and I push it down the river the best I can, at least so Fundy won’t see.”

All he could think about before in this moment was his son, but now there is nothing. He turns back to his son and tries to hide the blood on his hands.

“Okay, I think that’s all we need to hear. Schlatt, if you would?”

—

Wilbur sits alone in his room.

His legs are curled up under him, and he digs his face into his knees. 

He did it.

He really did it.

The session had managed to shake loose the memory, and the emotions are now slowly rolling over him, like waves.

He wants to disappear. He wants to leave. He never wants to see Manberg or Fundy or Schlatt or Tommy ever again because of the fucking _shame_. He’s afraid he might kill them too. 

Puffy had tried to reassure him, tell him that it was so long ago now, he has grown up since then. But Wilbur still isn’t sure.

He hadn’t wanted to kill anyone, even in Pogtopia, but what was stopping him? Maybe the sick feeling in his throat every time he thought about it, the feeling that matched the one he felt that day. 

She’s gone forever. And it’s all Wilbur’s fault.

His head shoots up when there’s a knock on his door, and Eret’s voice echoes from the other side. “Can I come in?”

Wilbur’s seen how wary Eret is around him, probably because of Fundy, or the betrayal, or both. Still, he can’t find it in himself to care, not when the shock and pain of That Day is still coursing through him.

“Yeah,” he manages, and Eret opens the door, all regal poise and hidden nerves.

Wilbur knows Eret too well, and that’s why it hurts.

“Puffy…gave me the rundown on what happened. She told me that you found out how you lost Sally.” They took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Shouldn’t be,” Wilbur mutters. “I killed her.”

“Doesn’t change that you lost her, does it?”

“I feel like the important bit here is the bit where I _drowned her_.”

“Did you regret it?”

“Yeah, instantly, but- that doesn’t change that I did it.”

Eret is quiet for a moment. “How do you think I felt after the betrayal?” she asks.

“I remember you acted proud for killing us,” Wilbur says with a scoff. 

They shake their head. “I regretted it. Maybe not instantly, but I realized the crown wasn’t actually something I wanted, especially not Dream’s crown. I wanted my friends back, but none of you wanted me.”

“But you didn’t murder us in cold blood. You didn’t watch the life drain from our eyes and enjoy doing it. You didn’t hold us underwater until we stopped breathing and made a spur of the moment decision to kill us.” 

“And was what I did not worse? I _planned_ your last moments, I knew you would die. I led you into that room with the express purpose of killing you. I succeeded in killing not only you, but Fundy, Tommy and Tubbo too. And I didn’t regret it for the longest time. How does that make me less of a murderer than you?”

“You pulled the trigger, but you weren’t the one holding the gun.”

They sit in silence for a moment.

“How are you going to tell Fundy?” Eret asks.

He’s already been thinking about it, but the cold reminder of confronting his son stabs into his heart. He knows it has to happen. He knows. But he had secretly hoped he could avoid this until the end of his days. He knows he’ll have to face it, but that doesn’t make it easier.

“I don’t know,” he says.

“If you don’t tell him, I will,” Eret replies, and then the ruler of the Dream SMP is gone and Wilbur is alone once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hehehehehehehehehe AU brainrot go brrrrr


End file.
